I have mentioned in a previous post that my husband and I adopted a little girl from China. We brought her home in July of this past year. We have already started looking into a second adoption, knowing that adoptions can take awhile. We also needed to research new agencies this time around because we would not qualify for China anymore and our last agency only handled Chinese adoptions.
We do not qualify for a Chinese adoption under their new adoption laws that went into affect in May 2007. We were fortunate enough to have been logged in and grandfathered under their previous rules in order to qualify for our daughter's adoption referral.
With plans for child number two, we decided that we wanted to persue international adoption again, because that is where our daugther's experiences are from and we thought her having a sibling with a similar background would be good for her. International adoption was the most fulfilling event my husband and I have ever had.
After some research, I found out that many countries will not accept Epilepsy as a medical condition of adoptive parents. I knew this was true of China, but was surprised at how many other countries find it "unacceptable". Through 3 different agencies, we were on the track for an Ethiopian adoption. Everything seemed to fit and we were enthusiastic of the prospect of starting this journey again.
Unfortunately, last week I received a phone call from one of the agencies stating that they had cheecked with their Ethiopia representative and that Epilepsy would be a medical condition that they could not accept into their program. I felt that this may be an agency issue since approval for Ethiopia was so new to two of the agencies. I phoned the other agencies, who then also verified that Ethiopia would not accept adoptive parents with seizure disorders.
All of this came with such a blow. I thought about it all weekend and worried about what my family and husband must think of me. But my husband is always optimistic and very supportive. To him it was just a little bump that we would get over and we would continue on with something different.
I think some of my frustration in all of this is that I do not feel "sick". I do not think of myself as having some type of "chronic" condition. I do not think of my Epilepsy 24 hours a day anymore. I am certainly reminded at least twice a day as I down anticonvulsant medication. That is always my reality check.
People always assume the worst. I was told that when you say "Epilepsy" in a third world country, you are basically saying that you have a death sentence. I am reminded with each rejection that there is still a long ways to go in educating people. Other countries are at a disadvantage as they have so many other larger issues going on. Focus is certainly not drawn to seizure treatment or research in that field when people are starving and dying of Aids.
I have accepted the rejection of the international adoption programs and feel so lucky to have my daughter with me. I will always cherish the time I spent with her in China and will always respect their traditions, customs, and way of life. It is not the type of world that I would like to live in, but it is certainly one that I will accept and face with as much understanding as possible.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
International Adoption and Epilepsy
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5 comments:
hi,
just found this blog entry on a search for epilepsy and adoption. you 've done great work. do you know which countries accept epilepsy/seizure disorders? what about in the us? thank you.
My understanding from what I have found out this past month is that Vietnam is one of the more flexible countries when it comes to the adoptive parents health. We were told that we could try to adopt from Vietnam but that the wait for a child was over 2 years at this time. Some of the countries that have international adoption programs may allow seizure disorders through, but there are some countries I have not checked on because we did not meet other criteria, like the length of marriage requirement. We will have been married 2 years in June, and many of the countries require up to 3 to 5 years of marriage.
In the U.S., again, from what I have found out, most domestic U.S. adoption programs will accept epilepsy and other health issues. Since most U.S. adoptions are "open" adoptions, the birth mother can ask any questions that she wants. But it is up to you to decide what health information you want to share with the birth parent.
I am sure some agencies may vary also. We adopted through Chinese Children Adoption International for my daughter. We were so fortunate to get into the program prior to China's laws changing. And even with not having had their new restrictions on us, they were still not very accepting of my seizures and we had to do additional paperwork, letters, and medical follow up to clarify my seizures for them. It was a humbling and sometimes humiliating experience.
thanks so much...you've really encouraged me. many blessings for you and your family!
(just had to let you know that the word verification had 3 letters, then "seiz" then 1 letter. had to laugh at "seiz." :)
Michele,
Thanks for this blog. My husband and I had just settled on adopting an ethiopian child when we found out from one of the two agencies we are looking into that because I have nocturnal petite mal seizures that we were ineligible to adopt from ethiopia. Since I only have about a 30 second seizure every two to three months that only occur at night, it seems ridiculous that this should be a sentence of death. But, it definitely appears that it is going to be. I doubt many people are going to be searching int'l adoption and seizures but if they do I hope they find your blog as helpful as I did. I am sorry that you have seizures and have not found a country that will accept you for the wonderful mom I am sure you are. I don't know what my husband and I will do now because we don't want to wait two years to get a child...maybe look into domestic adoption. Good luck and thanks for the post.
Lyn-Dee
Hi Lynn-Dee,
When we first started our adoption process I did not think about my Epilepsy as being a roadblock. It never even came to my mind. My seizures are very controlled now. When I have had them in past years they have been small simple partial seizures that last for less than a minute at times. That is how controlled they are.
I find it a little maddening that this is not acceptable, and even if I was an adoptive parent who suffered from other types of seizures, such as tonic clonic, etc. I would still have enough smarts to make a personal decision as to whether or not I felt that my health interfered with being a mother. There is no way I would risk the health or well being of a child if I, myself, was not healthy enough to be able to handle 100% of caring for a child.
I mentioned Vietnam to someone earlier. I have been told that they are more flexible with the adoptive parents health history. My husband and I were so lucky to have gotten our daughter prior to the Chinese adoption laws changing. And even with having reached the deadline before the changes, I still had to present a lot of data, including physical exams, multiple doctor letters explaining my seizures. At one point, after we had our referral, China came back and wanted even more information. I felt like I was on the edge of my seat always waiting for the other shoe to drop until we actually went to China and I had our daughter in my arms.
For domestic adoption... if you happen to be in Nebraska or Iowa, there is a program that we will be going through with an agency called Adoption Links WorldWide. I believe you have to be a resident in IA or NE to use them, but they network with a few agencies in the U.S. and we are applying for their domestic infant minority program.
There are alot of unknowns with domestic adoption. Some people will get "selected" by a birth mother/father right away, and others may wait. You do not have a timeline like you do with international adoption, so you just wait and see what happens. On the plus side, you do not have the issues with your health and you are not scrutinized as much. From what I have seen so far in the process, the paperwork is much much less than international, every little detail of your life/finances/health is not under a magnifying glass. I think some couples may wait longer with domestic at times if they are being more selective on the child that they will accept, such as race, sex, age, etc.
Good luck with your search for answers. Adoption is so fulfilling, so please don't give up!
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